Jokes - post the funny stuff here!

[BigPete33]

Never underestimate a Dad.


I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.
And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

[Bacon]

Here's one for Bob.

"What the fastest growing city in the world?"

Spoiler:

Dublin. It just keeps on Dublin & Dublin.

[rcon]

Here's one for Bob.

"What the fastest growing city in the world?"

Spoiler:

Dublin. It just keeps on Dublin & Dublin.

Wow. That is just painful.

[AceLosesKing]

Dublin, haha.

Interesting tidbit: My third cousin lives in Dublin. He sent me a copy of Timesplitters: Future Perfect for the GCN cos it wasn't released in Oz.

That is all.

[bennymacca]

Uninteresting tidbit:

[rcon]

Link pilfered from Tim Blair's blog.

http://blogs.news.com.au/images/uploads ... warned.doc

FUNNY, FUNNY, FUNNY! Just read the first paragraph The rest of the article is pretty funny too, but the first paragraph is just gold.

[bennymacca]

LOL ex port adelaide resident i reckon

[leighryan738]

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident

They just had half their plane fall off...

Old but good follows.

A man riding his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one desire.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic,

Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time.

Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

The Lord replied,

'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

[Des]

LOL

good work!!

Welcome to the forum too!

[leighryan738]

Cheers,

Up waiting to play online satellite.... which I won entry to before looking at start time.... hate when that happens.