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Inspired by ALK's Knife or Bat Thread
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:29 am
by Swanky
As soon as I saw it, it reminded me of an old thread from my first poker forum
Scott's Poker Table I still visit the old place even though it's pretty much dead, but that's another story and i still talk to Scott over in Hawaii about once a month, but I digress. I will quote the original thread in a minute and then i'll let you have at it. This thread was started way back in '05 and enjoyed cult status on that forum, and frankly I think it's just the thread for a Friday.
So.....
HOW MANY 5 YEAR OLDS COULD YOU TAKE ON???Rules and original post below:
The Modfather at Scott's Poker Table Dec '05 wrote:this is something old man Swanky would think up.....
the question:
how many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
the specifics:
- you are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. there are no foreign objects.
- you are not allowed to touch a wall.
- when you are knocked unconscious, you lose. when they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- i (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. the pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics,
other than they are all healthy youngsters.
- the kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. you will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- there is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
- the kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down. [/list]
i set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, i think i could take on a few more. how many could you take on?
Have at it gang!
Re: Inspired by ALK's Knife or Bat Thread
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:46 am
by bennymacca
once i stop laughing, i will give it proper consideration
Re: Inspired by ALK's Knife or Bat Thread
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:01 am
by Swanky
This is my first reply to this thread to give you and idea of the direction it took.
There were some amazing ideas. Oh and please remember for the wowsers, this is just for fun, I would never condone violence against kids in any way shape or form. Violence for any reason I generally frown upon, unless it's for sport, like boxing or my fav the UFC and the WWF
(yes I still call it the WWF, no Johhny come lately hippy with a goofy panda symbol will stop me from calling it the WWF!).
old man Swanky in Dec '05 wrote:now why didn't i think of this????
what a great idea!
i'd like to see a league set up, a televised event, something you could bet on.
you'd need a big kick ass trophy of course.
and a super dooper huge fat ass card board check too.
tactics.... hhhhmmmm
i reckon i could nail 60 of the little f#$@ers.
i'd use my patented old man Swanky Russian leg sweep to start.
probably get 2 of the little buggers in a head lock and use 'em as battering rams.
if you can hold on tight, and start spinning, might me able to use as the 2 "tools" as swingin battering rams.
i love this game!
Re: Inspired by ALK's Knife or Bat Thread
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:14 am
by bennymacca
i think the key point here is that if they can back you into a corner through sheer numbers, then you are screwed.
so i would employ a running strategy. keep on the move, get a bit of momentum and just charge at the little tackers. if you keep on the move, then it will be harder for you to be blindsided and you will avoid them coming up behind you and trying to hand off your neck or something to take you down.
pick off the fat kids first, because those are the ones that are going to hurt when they all try to crush you at some stage. and they are slower.
by this stage, you will find out which ones are the cockiest, and think they have a shot. you need to get into these kids heads. start trash talking them while you are cracking the skulls of the fatties.
i know you said that the kids are very motivated, but deep down, they will be affected if you start walloping a big heap of them in a row.
so pick off the easy targets first, and go in for the kill and take down the ring leaders.
Re: Inspired by ALK's Knife or Bat Thread
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:15 am
by muzzington
I'd just run around giving them all Sweet Chin Music and posing flamboyantly.
Re: Inspired by ALK's Knife or Bat Thread
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:30 am
by Swanky
muzzington wrote:I'd just run around giving them all Sweet Chin Music and posing flamboyantly.
Gold Muzz, no doubt you'd need theme music.....
benny the cunt, you bring some valid points. I wonder how many you think you could get through though.
Let's just say there is 100 of them.
Can you out last them?
Could you get through the lot?
How long before you're overwhelmed???
Re: Inspired by ALK's Knife or Bat Thread
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:36 am
by bennymacca
ill get back to you.
off the top of my head, 50-60 would be a good number.
might need to do some maths, work out how many children per square metre that is, how much room to move there would be etc etc
Re: Inspired by ALK's Knife or Bat Thread
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:37 am
by Swanky
Always the engineer!
Re: Inspired by ALK's Knife or Bat Thread
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:26 pm
by AceLosesKing
The 2+2 thread on this is GOLD, so funny.
I'd say probably 20-30. Using one of the kids as a ram would get hard, do you know how heavy a 5yr old is.
Re: Inspired by ALK's Knife or Bat Thread
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 1:19 pm
by krunchie
i belive a real life version of this happened in china yesterday
some 30year old mental case ran into a Kindergarden with a knife
scored himself 30 injured 5year olds and 4 adults
turns out this is the 3rd such attack this month in china
what the F@#$ is going on there