HARPS & GIZ'S SA POKER ASSAULT TOUR

[666HARPS666]

Not sure yet benny the cunt about which wine area's we will go to . But it would be COOL to see the Pandas

[Bob B]

g'day ,

Real important question .
Does S,A. have specials on VB cans ? Here we get deals like 2 slabs for $66 , 3 slabs for $99 or 2 30 packs for $80 .
& what's the going price for UDL ouzo & cola cans ?
Will we have to hook up a trailer & fill it with Booze or is it safe to buy it there ?

I cannot SLEEP till I find out

cheers [_])

Isn't that an old Holden????

I heard they made a beer in Victoria that was spelt like that. My dad would use it to keep the drains clean and the roaches out of the house.

[Bacon]

Woolies Liquor have two 30 cans packs for $79 at the mo.

Still rather gouge my eyes out though.

[Bob B]

G'day ,
Okay so what are somethings to do while we are in your town ? We are going to check out some of your lovely wineries .
& I would like to go to Handorf , Any suggestions would be appreciated

cheers [_])

Watching the road transport guys change the signage for the Southern Expressway over from South to North back to North to south is a rivetting experience not to missed!!!

Or was it north to south then south to north??? So, confusing!!!

[gundog]

Harps all the grief you are getting comes from people who drink West End which comes from the west end of an East bound camel.


At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and West End (South Australia) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch.


When the waitress asked what they wanted to drink, the GM of Tooheys said without hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New."

The head of XXXX smiled and said, "Make mine a XXXX Gold."

To which the boss of West End rejoined, "I'll have a West End, the King of Beers."

And the bloke from Cascade asked for "a Cascade, the cleanest draught on the planet."

The General Manager of Carlton & United paused a moment and then placed his order: "I'll have a Diet Coke."

The others looked at him has if he had sprouted a new head.

"Well,” he said with a shrug, “if you poofters aren't drinking beer, then neither will I."

[gundog]

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

[Brett Kay]

Harps all the grief you are getting comes from people who drink West End which comes from the west end of an East bound camel.


At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and West End (South Australia) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch.


When the waitress asked what they wanted to drink, the GM of Tooheys said without hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New."

The head of XXXX smiled and said, "Make mine a XXXX Gold."

To which the boss of West End rejoined, "I'll have a West End, the King of Beers."

And the bloke from Cascade asked for "a Cascade, the cleanest draught on the planet."

The General Manager of Carlton & United paused a moment and then placed his order: "I'll have a Diet Coke."

The others looked at him has if he had sprouted a new head.

"Well,” he said with a shrug, “if you poofters aren't drinking beer, then neither will I."

Might have to forward that one onto the boss at work. I chuckled.

[zzgman]

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nice

[666HARPS666]

This time next week we should be sneaking past you're 2 border security guards

http://www.giftlog.com/pictures/wombat4.jpg


&

Spoiler:

[Sinitster]

lol


Are we doing Coonawarra on the way to Adelaide mate ?

i will be rolling with you guys from Millicent , if you come past that way and if there is room