Jokes - post the funny stuff here!

[Ashley Higgins]

nice one benny the cunt

[Finno]

A German, a Hispanic and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Hispanic, “You’re in charge of sweeping.” He then jabs a thin finger at the German, “You’re in charge of digging.” Finally, he turns to the Chinaman, “And you’re in charge of supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile.”

Two hours later, the foreman returns to find the pile of sand untouched, and the German and Hispanic standing beside it. “Why didn’t you touch it?” he says. The German looks at him. “We didn’t have a broom or shovel. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies but he disappeared and we couldn’t find him.” Annoyed, the foreman storms off to find the errant Asian. Just then, the Chinaman leaps from behind the sand. “Supplies!” he yells.

[Bob B]

You've got to see this. It's incredible!!

1st look and see the Whale under the water.

Keep your cursor OUT of the picture until you see the Whale.

Then move your mouse cursor onto the picture, but stand back, you might get wet (it's like it's 3D).


CLICK ON: http://www.toilette-humor.com/cartoon.html

FUNNY SO FUNNY NICE BUT STILL FUNNY

[xtal]

awwwww sooo cute :D

(Was a picture of the tinest kitten's that you'll ever see)


**Edit by Ondie -- As much as I hate doing it as it doesn't bother me, we do have profanity filters for a reason and someone might take offence to the remark at the bottom of that picture.

[Laura]

I can't be bothered going back to see if anyone else posted this, but here's my latest contribution...

Here are some actual (alleged) logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident:

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.) (S = The solution or action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[Bob B]

I love the above post..........it's hard to believe those queeries actually took place but I can only assume they did. Scary isn't it

[bennymacca]

I love the above post..........it's hard to believe those queeries actually took place but I can only assume they did. Scary isn't it

dont believe everything that goes around in emails

there may be some truth in some of the statements above, but they were probably not from qantas

edit: just searched snopes, have a read
http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/squawk.asp

[Bob B]

Now benny the cunt, nobody likes a smarty pants M8

How do you find these things so fast????

[bennymacca]

sorry bob, i wasn't meaning to be a smart arse

google, wikipedia and snopes

for things like this, search the three above, and you are bound to find something.

[Bob B]

Sorry benny the cunt, I didn't mean that to be personal M8, I was joking around. I love the internet and "Googling", but there is so, so, much to see and learn that the mind boggles.

I found my heritage going back to the 17th century via Google. Unfortunately it took up a shitload of my time travelling all over the state and internet trying to trace it down, LOL.