Postby AJG » Thu May 06, 2010 3:44 am
OMG another pedant... Please, let me rephrase so you better understand...
Although I do think taken altogether, not just the middle of the sentence, my meaning is intelligable (see very bottom)
Defensiveness is not something i ever feel, as (in general) i dont place any importance on other's views of me or my thoughts or opinions... Of course if i am in a situation where I can learn something, particularly something I am interested in etc, then I do, but that has nothing to do with ego, like defensiveness does.
I thought the italicised part made my thoughts clear:
I dont place importance on other's views of me out of an ego defence mechanism....
etc: as in 'trying to learn something', but other situations to.
And the part you bolded, is completed (was intended to anyway) by that part I Italicised: Ego and the defence of it is not something that drives me to place importance on others view of me personally, or thoughts and opinions I have which are the result of the person I am (ie not my ego)... Thoughts never define who you are.
I will correct a mistake I did make there, when I sayed "not something i ever feel", I really should have said "rarely feel".... Dont claim to be an enlightened master, far from it...
Besides, i think trying to learn is a good way to learn something... I mean, how can you learn if your not really paying attention with a view to learning from it? At the very least it helps?
And honestly, if you truly understand what I am saying here, you should see that this actually is one thing that opens up learning. Many people create their self-identity based on the Ego, and when presented with conflicting opinions and such the Ego automatically reacts in defence, as any threat to the way it see's things is actually a threat to the Ego itself (although this is usually completely unconcious reaction). And of course, we are not the Ego, but we have become so identified with it that alot of people see no distiction between the Ego and their true self. Reducing this identity with Ego and its responses, ultimately eliminating it completely, removes the biggest obstacle we have to learning, expanding our awareness and true understanding...
...11.59% of bad beat stories are just misplayed hands ...